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 NPCs: Ryuji Kazama

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Ryuji Kazama

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Name : Ryuji Kazama
Epithet : Shivering Talon
Age : 25
Race : Human
Faction : Marines
Crew : 45th Shock Battalion
Ship : Whatever is issued
Crew Position : Rear-Admiral
Devil Fruit : Tori Tori no Mi, Model: Thunderbird
Haoshoku : 0
Busoshoku | Kenbunshoku : 3
Attack (ATK) : 225
Defense (DEF) : 250
Reflex (RX) : 320
Willpower (WP) : 215
Level : 40
Experience Points : 4000
Berries : 5,050,000
Posts : 90

PostSubject: NPCs: Ryuji Kazama   Sun Jul 23, 2017 8:30 am


NPCs: Ryuji Kazama




Tom the Shipwright:
 




Captain Kuro:
 




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Last edited by Ryuji Kazama on Wed Jul 26, 2017 7:00 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Gray

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Name : Gray Starks
Epithet : The Conqueror (Formerly "Black Fist")
Age : 49
Race : Cyborg
Faction : Yonkou (Former)
Crew : Black Fist Pirates (Former)
Ship : Fistful AKA "The Fist" (Destroyed)
Crew Position : Captain (Former)
Devil Fruit : Pressure-Pressure Fruit
Haoshoku : 9
Busoshoku | Kenbunshoku : 9
Attack (ATK) : 750
Defense (DEF) : 600
Reflex (RX) : 655
Willpower (WP) : 600
Level : 100
Experience Points : 10000
Bounty : 2,500,000,000
Berries : 25,000,000,000
Perks :

Posts : 1114

PostSubject: Re: NPCs: Ryuji Kazama   Wed Jul 26, 2017 10:03 am

Oi! Nice work with the NPCs. I just have a couple of suggestions. For Captain Kuro (hah! Totally nothing like the canon Captain Kuro), you should change his position to something else. Making him first mate might turn other players off from wanting to join your crew. You should generally try to reserve the higher positions in your crew for actual player characters.

Secondly, in a marine crew, the second-in-command's position wouldn't usually be referred to as "first mate" but something like "chief officer" or "first officer". However, in practice, marines would still address him by his militaristic title, not the position he holds on the ship. So, if he is a Captain in the Navy, he'd be referred to as "Captain Kuro" (that part you got right).

Same goes with all other crew members in a marine crew. All of them would be addressed using their proper rank in the navy.

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Ryuji Kazama

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Name : Ryuji Kazama
Epithet : Shivering Talon
Age : 25
Race : Human
Faction : Marines
Crew : 45th Shock Battalion
Ship : Whatever is issued
Crew Position : Rear-Admiral
Devil Fruit : Tori Tori no Mi, Model: Thunderbird
Haoshoku : 0
Busoshoku | Kenbunshoku : 3
Attack (ATK) : 225
Defense (DEF) : 250
Reflex (RX) : 320
Willpower (WP) : 215
Level : 40
Experience Points : 4000
Berries : 5,050,000
Posts : 90

PostSubject: Re: NPCs: Ryuji Kazama   Wed Jul 26, 2017 7:00 pm

Edits have been made.

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Gray

avatar


Name : Gray Starks
Epithet : The Conqueror (Formerly "Black Fist")
Age : 49
Race : Cyborg
Faction : Yonkou (Former)
Crew : Black Fist Pirates (Former)
Ship : Fistful AKA "The Fist" (Destroyed)
Crew Position : Captain (Former)
Devil Fruit : Pressure-Pressure Fruit
Haoshoku : 9
Busoshoku | Kenbunshoku : 9
Attack (ATK) : 750
Defense (DEF) : 600
Reflex (RX) : 655
Willpower (WP) : 600
Level : 100
Experience Points : 10000
Bounty : 2,500,000,000
Berries : 25,000,000,000
Perks :

Posts : 1114

PostSubject: Re: NPCs: Ryuji Kazama   Wed Jul 26, 2017 9:25 pm

Approved!
Ryuji Kazama wrote:
[size=33]
[/size]
NPCs: Ryuji Kazama




[size=33]
Tom the Shipwright:
 
[/size]



[size=33]
Captain Kuro:
 
[/size]


[size=33]
[/size]

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